Dave Brubeck cleaned my kitchen
Patsy Cline made ravioli
Hank Wlliams did my laundry
but there was a lonesome sock longing for a partner
Jason Webley or Etta James or Dar Williams might join me when I paint
(well it depends on what I’m painting)
Ray LaMontagne helped me pack
or maybe wallow
or maybe dream
and how would I get ready to go out on the town without Louis Prima or Ella Fitgerald?
Sometimes, I wish life was as simple to live as a Rumi quote.
Sometimes, it is.
Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. ~Rumi
Sure, if you follow your dream, life can be really challenging. But you know what? Life can be really challenging if you don’t follow your dream. Either way, you’ll experience loss, failure, obstacles, and disappointments. But only by following your dream can you truly experience the lightness and joy of fulfilling your purpose.
That doesn’t mean your purpose can’t change–or rather, that your methodology for fulfilling your purpose can’t change. It’s wise to occasionally focus in and re-evaluate what it is that you love–what it is that you want. People can get caught up in chasing old dreams, long after their desires have changed.
Let the beauty we love be what we do. ~Rumi
What do you love?
What will you do?
Many years ago, I received a sun-visor for auditioning for Aaron Spelling’s “Sunset Beach.” Sort of a “we’re not hiring you, but have this ugly hat anyway” gesture. Yeah, I know, they probably didn’t hire any “nobodies” from their nation-wide audition tour; I’m sure they never planned to. It was a publicity stunt. But I didn’t know that then. You guys think I’m an optimist now? You should have seen me in my late teens and early twenties. I really thought I had a chance. After all, I had performance experience and a great attitude. So many of the other applicants were simply pretty girls that wanted to be on tv. The audition was comprised of standing on stage with ten other girls and having someone yell, “Turn around!” so that they could look at our asses. If my ass had somehow made the cut, I can’t imagine I’d be truly happy doing a show like that. If that had happened, I would have moved to LA, not Seattle…which means I never would have toured Europe…so I never would have performed an improvised play in a small town in Switzerland inside a beautiful, old stone tower. It is one of my favorite memories—not just from that trip and it’s not just one of my favorite performance memories–it’s one of my favorite life memories. Not only were my colleagues and I improvising a story with genuine characters and sincere moments, but nobody was judging the size or shape of my ass. (Well, that I know of, anyway). As artists, aren’t we here to tell the stories that desire to be told? In that stone tower in Switzerland that evening, it truly felt like it was a story that wanted to be told. I’m not sure I can say the same for “Sunset Beach.”
the beauty of life is in those moments you share with other people
the beauty of life is in those moments you cannot possibly share with another
the beauty of life is in its contradictions
YOUR LIFE 
Special Care Instructions
The life you have is unique. Because it is made of organic materials, natural variations in color may occur. Any irregularities are not to be seen as defective. Imperfections only increase your life’s natural beauty and individuality. Please handle with care. Turn life inside out before assuming you know everything. Tumble high and low. Do not use chlorine bleach. Do not dry clean.
Ugh. Being sick sucks. I am typically an optimist. But when I get sick, that half-full crap goes right out the window. It’s like I feel like I’ll feel this way forever. I’m hopeless. It’s awfully sad. It’s also short-sighted, stupid, ignorant, and (not to mention) shamelessly selfish. 
I’d like to think that maybe the reason I lose sight of the fact that I’ll be healthy again when I’m sick is because I’m so good at living in the moment. Ah, that’s not it, though. If I was truly living in the moment, I’d be simply thinking, “I’m sick.” Instead, I’m thinking, “Oh, god! What if I feel this way forever?!” Haha….it’s pretty ridiculous, really. But there you have it. I am (although I hate to admit it) an absolute drama queen, when I am sick. Fortunately for the rest of the world, I live alone and am usually so exhausted when I’m sick, that I don’t feel like talking to anyone. So (excepting this post of course), everyone is saved from my drama.
But not me. I’m not saved by it. I’m tortured by it. I get helplessly wrapped up in it. Blah. Also, two other unpleasant things happen.
1) If I’m sick for more than a couple of days, I usually have to cancel, postpone, or find subs for any classes, rehearsals, and shows I have scheduled. If I had a “day-job” there might be a tiny part of me that thought, “Woo-hoo! At least I get a day off, I guess!” But I love what I do. And I hate when I miss out. It’s important to note that since this isn’t a “day-job” we’re talking about here, I don’t have paid sick days. So, in addition to staying home and feeling sorry for myself, I’m out the money I was planning on making. (Oh, man. This sounds super whiney)!
2) I’m a single gal who lives alone. Now, there are lots of reasons to be in a loving, healthy relationship. And I’ve got a list if ya ever wanna see it. But let’s face it, one of those reasons is that you get to take care of someone when they need it and you’ve got someone who will take care of you when you need it. There are, I suppose, some very good reasons to enjoy being single as well. But when I’m sick, there’s an awfully big part of me that would love for someone to make me some soup, do my dishes, and cover me up with a blanket.
So, here I sit, in bed, posting a woe-is-me piece for all three of my subscribers to read (Don’t worry, Mom! I’m sure I’ll be good and healthy in no time)! I just have a cold/sore-throat/typical winter-y thing. I mean, it’s not like I went to war and had my legs shot off. I’m so insensitive and selfish.
But, I have a comfy bed and a cozy home, food to eat and vitamins to take. And I even had a friend who checked in with me to see if I needed anything. So, I’m sick for a few days. Yeah, it sucks. But, if this is what I have to complain about right now, then life is still pretty damn good.
