buy the box of really soft tissues
understand people more
take a cab–twice in one week
love my body completely (I truly thought I’d done this in my 20′s…..but not nearly as fully)
look forward to spending a Saturday night in
realize I’m not invincible
wish I still (thought I) was
be easier on myself
spend a ton of money on a really great mattress
say ‘no’ to something I don’t want (sans guilt)
Whew, that sick-haze around my noggin’ is startin’ to finally dissipate. Hence, my optimism is thankfully returning. But I digress. I promised a list, and here ’tis:
1) breakfast in bed (and lunch…….and dinner)
2) the welcome realization that you cannot smell when you haven’t taken the garbage out in days
3) unabashed usage of comfy pants
4) sleeping between naps
5) watching old James Stewart movies (old movies, young James Stewart….swoon…)
I guess the irony here is that now that I’m starting to feel better, I can really appreciate being sick. But nothing beats feeling well. ‘Cause let’s face it. I’m an unabashed comfy pants wearer on my healthiest of days. And that’s a big ol’ scoop of truth right there.
sleeping in
downton abbey
dancing to loud music
mango smoothie
writing
waves on lake michigan
teaching
spontaneous meal with a delightful friend
nerding out about improv
peaceful solitude
Watercolor Art of Dessert Cake (or Future Top Search Items for My Blog)
boobies. big boobies
and decorative floral art
high ceilings with windows, over 4000 square feet, amazing beach front property. 50% off
ways to combat anger, rude kittens, and politics
recipes for disaster, pumpkin pie, and love
make yourself happy and wealthy and smart. or maybe just tired and wistful and cute.
clean stubborn shirt stains–even yummy grape juice
using only your empathy
and vinegar
and hope
I’m sorry you thought you’d see 4000 square feet of grape stained boobies here.
Not too sorry.
boobies
One of the most entertaining places on my website (for me anyway) is the little area where only I can go. It’s a whole page that lists how many “hits” my site has had, what pages folks were looking at, and notably, what search words they used to find it. Typically, it’s stuff like my name or my show’s name, “chicago improv workshops,” or other fairly unsurprising searches. But because of the following facts, I sometimes get some pretty entertaining searches:
I have a show with sock monkeys
I advertise that my monkeys perform naked (which they do).
I often use the analogy of “abusive relationships” to describe Chicago’s weather.
I have an increasing amount of poetry posts that have all kinds of random words in ‘em.
So, taking into account the above, I suppose I shouldn’t be at all surprised that I get hits to my website because folks were searching for things like:
bad naked monkey
good and bad effects of cold medicine
cow abusing monkey
watercolor art of dessert cake
crazy train people
good sock monkey art
pie abuse
naked teachers
good and bad monkey in hindi
naked girls with monkeys
This brings me to the following conclusion. It seems fairly easy to get “hits” on one’s site by merely composing a post that contains popular search words. For example, in this very post, I could type “women who keep hippo-centric scrapbooks and the men who love them” and the possibilities of my site getting visited by a man who searches online secretly about his unique fetish just increased. But, I suppose I could also take advantage of this power too, by typing things like, “best one-woman show in Chicago” or “must see solo performance of 2011″ and the like.
However my intrigue of the concept of someone searching for something like “watercolor art of dessert cake” (which, by the way, needs to be the title of my next piece) pushes me closer to the hippo camp than the the best solo performer ever camp. After all, if I wanted this to be a post about marketing my show or other projects, I could just direct you over here. This, however, is merely a post about delightful combinations of words.
Therefore, dear reader, I offer you this poem.
trains > buses
carrot juice > apple juice
books > wireless reading devices
jars > cans
bridges > tunnels
4 > 5
hardwood > carpet
fresh > smoked
lighthouse > yurt
seeing > looking
scrabble > words with friends
malachite > diamonds
acrylic > watercolor
comfy pants > pantyhose
cornell’s boxes > boxy architecture
any other dessert > cheesecake
english dramas > reality shows
roller coasters > spinny rides
now > earlier/later
tiger lilies > carnations
this > something else
The other day, I was on my way to teach or direct and was planning on focusing on character wants that day. I had accidentally left my “bag of wants” at home, so I had to create more wants on slips of paper for my actors to draw out of a hat later for their scenes.
I want you to love me.
I want your respect.
I want you to like me more than you like yourself.
I want you to be my friend.
You annoy me, but I want to have sex with you.
I neatly wrote these thoughts and more like it in my notebook on the busy train. A few stops before I had to get off, the woman on the inside of my seat excused herself to get off the train. As she got up, she looked at me with a considerable amount of pity.
Weekend To-Do List
wake up early
remember to make a list
cross things off list
do them first
wash dishes
do laundry
paint some stuff
write some stuff
do lesson-plans
see shows
call someone I haven’t talked to in a while
realize I don’t have their number
mail package
just kinda sit and be content
achieve world peace
do some online stuff, but not too much
get to bed early
custard
Woody Allen movies
coffee flavored anything (including coffee)
diamonds
…
are appreciated, enjoyed, loved, and desired by many
but
not
by
me
nothankspassrathernot
But please, you just go right ahead.
When I first moved to Chicago, a friend told me about a theater that performed “What No one Else Produces.” I was immediately intrigued. A little over a year later, I was fortunate enough to become an ensemble member of that company–WNEP Theater. We do about one or two big projects a year. It’s made up of some amazingly talented writers, performers, and directors. And if you haven’t checked out a WNEP show, I hope you will. Any company that can successfully pull-off a Dadaist take on Christmas or a beautiful theatrical exploration of Edward Hopper paintings is something folks should see. Our next big production will be after the holidays. WNEP is bringing back its acclaimed improvisational performance, Postmortem, a documentary based on an obituary from the day’s newspaper. Until then, WNEP fans can satisfy their appetites once a month at our Frequency show on Chicago’s north side. And if you’re a performer, please contact us to get a spot for your piece! (More info on WNEP’s Frequency and the next show on November 20th can be found by clicking here). Oh! And if you’re on facebook, please become a fan of WNEP Theater and/or of our monthly shows at Transistor!
Dave Goss, managing director for WNEP and friend asked all of the company members to answer two pretty big questions. Below are the questions and my answers. Please check out the site for more company members’ profiles!
1) List ten things a person would have to do to understand you as an artist.
Read my teaching notes.
Find the connections in everything.
Play with the audience.
See both the show I did in the aged turret in Switzerland and in the beer tent at the Kentucky State Fair and observe the similarities.
Paint with calm impatience.
Turn an agonizingly long primal yell into a funny story.
Taste words.
Be affected by what you think the world is trying to tell you.
Journal about it, sleep on it, and then make it into a show.
Make up a song about fruit and perform it for your plants.
2) List ten things a person would have to do to understand you as a person.
Accidentally move to a new city. Then live there for several years.
Become vegan–or at least vegetarian.
Be tormented and bullied by a cruel caste system in grade school and then blessed and honored with amazing friends thereafter.
Journey alone to Ruby Beach.
Recycle. Even if you live in a city that doesn’t make it easy. Sigh.
Walk. A lot.
Allow yourself an uncontrollable laughing fit (30 minutes or more) now and again.
Work no less than twelve ridiculous jobs while you follow your dream.
Feel guilty that you’re not doing more.
Feel bad that you made yourself feel guilty. Take a nap. Then start the cycle over again.
