Things I Have Learned (or Been Reminded of) This Week

2 04 2012

That place on W2 forms where you list exemptions is important.  I need to change mine.

Uncle Sam is getting a lot of money from me this month.

Sometimes when you sit down to write about something, you write about something else entirely.

I forgot how much I love Sherman Alexie’s writing.  I need to read more of his work.

People can be really awful to each other.

Homemade pico de gallo is delicious.  I shouldn’t put it in an opaque container though.  ‘Cause I just forget that it’s in there.

Old homemade pico de gallo is stinky.

Chicago’s comedy community is fantastic in so many ways.

For a person who doesn’t necessarily celebrate Easter, I have a lot of Easter plans.

People can be really wonderful to each other.

That stranger you sit next to on the train or pass by on the sidewalk could be dealing with some intense stuff.  Even the smallest gesture of compassion can make a difference to that person.

 

 





Recipe for Writing a Show

30 03 2012

Writing a show is:

1 part inspiration

1 part discipline

2 parts putting your insides on the page

1 part playing Scrabble on facebook

If you’re going to try to double that last one, you better double the whole damn recipe.

 

 





Some fruits of my labor comin’ up this Saturday….

27 03 2012

I told a friend recently that I was writing my next one-woman show.  She asked me about my process.  I’m not really sure what my process is.  I think I’m still figuring it out.  I can tell you what my process feels like.  It feels like my process is:

announce to everyone I’m writing my next show

sit down to write

notice dust on bookshelves

clean entire apartment

sit down to write

realize I haven’t eaten

go to store

buy interesting bulk items I’ve never tried before

clean out pretty jars and fill them with Himalayan Red Rice or Black Japonica Rice

spend hours playing around with new recipes

eat

sit down to write

call my mom ’cause it’s been a while since we talked

do dishes

sit down to write

gaze out the window at the park

go to the park

sit down to write

update blog

Surprisingly, I have actually gotten some writing done.  In fact, I’ll be performing a short piece this Saturday with The Kates in Lincoln Square!  You should come.  Check out all of the funny folks who will be performing that night–hosted by Kelise Huff!

Kendra Stevens
Sapna Kumar
Bethany Remely
Cynthia Levin
Natalie Jose
Amanda Rountree
Rhea Butcher
Amy Sumpter





things I do in my thirties that I never did in my twenties

28 01 2012

buy the box of really soft tissues

understand people more

take a cab–twice in one week

love my body completely (I truly thought I’d done this in my 20′s…..but not nearly as fully)

look forward to spending a Saturday night in

realize I’m not invincible

wish I still (thought I) was

be easier on myself

spend a ton of money on a really great mattress

say ‘no’ to something I don’t want (sans guilt)





Five Really Great Things About Being Sick

23 01 2012

Whew, that sick-haze around my noggin’ is startin’ to finally dissipate.  Hence, my optimism is thankfully returning.  But I digress.  I promised a list, and here ’tis:

1)  breakfast in bed (and lunch…….and dinner)

2)  the welcome realization that you cannot smell when you haven’t taken the garbage out in days

3)  unabashed usage of comfy pants

4)  sleeping between naps

5)  watching old James Stewart movies (old movies, young James Stewart….swoon…)

I guess the irony here is that now that I’m starting to feel better, I can really appreciate being sick.  But nothing beats feeling well.  ‘Cause let’s face it.  I’m an unabashed comfy pants wearer on my healthiest of days.  And that’s a big ol’ scoop of truth right there.





drinking up today’s moments

16 01 2012

sleeping in

downton abbey

dancing to loud music

mango smoothie

writing

waves on lake michigan

teaching

spontaneous meal with a delightful friend

nerding out about improv

peaceful solitude





Watercolor Art of Dessert Cake

23 09 2011

Watercolor Art of Dessert Cake (or Future Top Search Items for My Blog)

boobies.  big boobies

and decorative floral art

high ceilings with windows, over 4000 square feet, amazing beach front property. 50% off

ways to combat anger, rude kittens, and politics

recipes for disaster, pumpkin pie, and love

make yourself happy and wealthy and smart.  or maybe just tired and wistful and cute.

clean stubborn shirt stains–even yummy grape juice

using only your empathy

and vinegar

and hope

I’m sorry you thought you’d see 4000 square feet of grape stained boobies here.

Not too sorry.

boobies





In Search Of: Something Else Entirely

23 09 2011

One of the most entertaining places on my website (for me anyway) is the little area where only I can go.  It’s a whole page that lists how many “hits” my site has had, what pages folks were looking at, and notably, what search words they used to find it.  Typically, it’s stuff like my name or my show’s name, “chicago improv workshops,” or other fairly unsurprising searches.  But because of the following facts, I sometimes get some pretty entertaining searches:

I have a show with sock monkeys

I advertise that my monkeys perform naked (which they do).

I often use the analogy of “abusive relationships” to describe Chicago’s weather.

I have an increasing amount of poetry posts that have all kinds of random words in ‘em.

So, taking into account the above, I suppose I shouldn’t be at all surprised that I get hits to my website because folks were searching for things like:

bad naked monkey

good and bad effects of cold medicine

cow abusing monkey

watercolor art of dessert cake

crazy train people

good sock monkey art

pie abuse

naked teachers

good and bad monkey in hindi

naked girls with monkeys

This brings me to the following conclusion.  It seems fairly easy to get “hits” on one’s site by merely composing a post that contains popular search words.  For example, in this very post, I could type “women who keep hippo-centric scrapbooks and the men who love them” and the possibilities of my site getting visited by a man who searches online secretly about his unique fetish just increased.  But, I suppose I could also take advantage of this power too, by typing things like, “best one-woman show in Chicago” or “must see solo performance of 2011″ and the like.

However my intrigue of the concept of someone searching for something like “watercolor art of dessert cake” (which, by the way, needs to be the title of my next piece) pushes me closer to the hippo camp than the the best solo performer ever camp.  After all, if I wanted this to be a post about marketing my show or other projects, I could just direct you over here.  This, however, is merely a post about delightful combinations of words.

Therefore, dear reader, I offer you this poem.





lower case preference math

19 09 2011

trains > buses

carrot juice > apple juice

books > wireless reading devices

jars > cans

bridges > tunnels

4 > 5

hardwood > carpet

fresh > smoked

lighthouse > yurt

seeing > looking

scrabble > words with friends

malachite > diamonds

acrylic > watercolor

comfy pants > pantyhose

cornell’s boxes > boxy architecture

any other dessert > cheesecake

english dramas > reality shows

roller coasters > spinny rides

now > earlier/later

tiger lilies > carnations

this > something else





I am one of the crazy people on the train.

29 08 2011

The other day, I was on my way to teach or direct and was planning on focusing on character wants that day.  I had accidentally left my “bag of wants” at home, so I had to create more wants on slips of paper for my actors to draw out of a hat later for their scenes.

I want you to love me.

I want your respect.

I want you to like me more than you like yourself.

I want you to be my friend.

You annoy me, but I want to have sex with you.

I neatly wrote these thoughts and more like it in my notebook on the busy train.  A few stops before I had to get off, the woman on the inside of my seat excused herself to get off the train.  As she got up, she looked at me with a considerable amount of pity.








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