A Sonnet for My Love

7 03 2012

Oh, Theatre!  Thou art my true, lasting love

You’ve stood beside me, steadfast, all these years

Methinks that thou were sent from hea’en above

To grant me laughter and some humble tears.

 

Expression is something we humans need

To find our truth and look it in the eye

Good theatre happens then, I feel, indeed.

It’s not just “who, what, where” or “how” but “why”

 

For when I saw thee, it was not enough.

I had to have experience with thee

You’re not the stage, the lights, or other “stuff”

You’re the connection betwixt them and me.

 

A good relationship is give and take

And ours has both.  I thank thee, for art’s sake.





Did you read your label?

28 01 2012

YOUR LIFE   

Special Care Instructions

The life you have is unique.  Because it is made of organic materials, natural variations in color may occur.   Any irregularities are not to be seen as defective.  Imperfections only increase your life’s natural beauty and individuality.  Please handle with care.  Turn life inside out before assuming you know everything.  Tumble high and low.  Do not use chlorine bleach.  Do not dry clean.





Judgement in Every Drop

27 01 2012

So, anyone who’s been reading my recent posts on this site knows that I’ve been sick this week.  Really sick.  I thought that I’ve had a really bad cold, but now that I’m starting to finally feel better, I’m ready to admit that I most likely had the flu.  Ugh.  It knocked me out.  I’ve been the kind of sick that when I stand up, I realize that was maybe a mistake and I should just go lay back down.  I’m way better now, of course…but still feelin’ it.

I’m a huge fan of Ricola lozenges.  They are awesome.  But because of my congestion, I also got some Halls.  Halls are like my old standby.  They are comforting.  That’s what my parents used when I was growing up.  Ricola was something I found later–my coming of age cough drop.

Halls has done something new with their packaging.  Have any of you seen it?  On the outside of every drop’s wrapper, they have little sayings–”A Pep Talk In Every Drop!” they’re calling it.  Here are some of the phrases I’ve seen:

Go get it!

Dust off and get up.   

Get back in there.

Flex your “can do” muscle.

Impress yourself today.

Buckle down and push forth!

Now, I don’t know about you, dear reader.  But when I am the kind of sick where I can’t breathe through my nose, I’m headachey, and it’s exhausting just to make myself a bowl of oatmeal, I don’t want some pushy cough drop wrapper telling me to “push forth!’  Screw you, cough drop wrapper!  How can you come off all high and mighty?!  You don’t know how I feel!  Stop tellin’ me that all I need to do is just “get back in there!’  Geez.  The nerve.  Maybe my “can do” muscle needs a rest.  Did you ever stop to think about that?!  No?  I didn’t think so.

Maybe you should reconsider your campaign, Halls.  And I’ll help you.  (Contact me via the email address on this website to find out where you can send my check.)  Here are the types of things that should be written on cough drop packages:

Be easy on yourself.

Don’t feel well?  Stay home and watch a movie!

Take a break.

You look really cute under that blanket.

Close your eyes and relax.

Embrace your bed!

See, Halls?  It’s not that difficult.  Less judgement, more validation.  That’s what we all want–especially when we’re not feeling well.





bad with names

21 11 2011

Oh!  I know her.

what’s-her-name

What’s her name?

starts with an ‘S’

no….

…has an “s” sound in it

Somewhere.

What is her name?

If she smiled more, she could be a Bridget.

Oh, is she one-of-those ends-in-a-”y” people?

I can’t stand those people.  (except for the people I love whose names happen to end in why)

Because I know Amy’s and Emily’s and other-y’s that are great–but it’s because they always had ease.  They didn’t add the “eeeeeee’s” on later to cuten themselves up.

Dangit.  What IS her name?

Oh!  Aaaaaaah…

Lots of vowels.  I think it’s a vowel-ish name.

Alanah or Layla or Laila or….

no…..

too many l’s

Man, what is her NAME?!  It’s right on the tip of my tongue.  I know it.  I know I’d know it if I heard it.  It’s driving me crazy!  If I could just think of…..

Oh!  I know him….

what’s-his-name

 





Sometimes…

11 11 2011

Sometimes, I think I take myself too literally.





Watercolor Art of Dessert Cake

23 09 2011

Watercolor Art of Dessert Cake (or Future Top Search Items for My Blog)

boobies.  big boobies

and decorative floral art

high ceilings with windows, over 4000 square feet, amazing beach front property. 50% off

ways to combat anger, rude kittens, and politics

recipes for disaster, pumpkin pie, and love

make yourself happy and wealthy and smart.  or maybe just tired and wistful and cute.

clean stubborn shirt stains–even yummy grape juice

using only your empathy

and vinegar

and hope

I’m sorry you thought you’d see 4000 square feet of grape stained boobies here.

Not too sorry.

boobies





In Search Of: Something Else Entirely

23 09 2011

One of the most entertaining places on my website (for me anyway) is the little area where only I can go.  It’s a whole page that lists how many “hits” my site has had, what pages folks were looking at, and notably, what search words they used to find it.  Typically, it’s stuff like my name or my show’s name, “chicago improv workshops,” or other fairly unsurprising searches.  But because of the following facts, I sometimes get some pretty entertaining searches:

I have a show with sock monkeys

I advertise that my monkeys perform naked (which they do).

I often use the analogy of “abusive relationships” to describe Chicago’s weather.

I have an increasing amount of poetry posts that have all kinds of random words in ‘em.

So, taking into account the above, I suppose I shouldn’t be at all surprised that I get hits to my website because folks were searching for things like:

bad naked monkey

good and bad effects of cold medicine

cow abusing monkey

watercolor art of dessert cake

crazy train people

good sock monkey art

pie abuse

naked teachers

good and bad monkey in hindi

naked girls with monkeys

This brings me to the following conclusion.  It seems fairly easy to get “hits” on one’s site by merely composing a post that contains popular search words.  For example, in this very post, I could type “women who keep hippo-centric scrapbooks and the men who love them” and the possibilities of my site getting visited by a man who searches online secretly about his unique fetish just increased.  But, I suppose I could also take advantage of this power too, by typing things like, “best one-woman show in Chicago” or “must see solo performance of 2011″ and the like.

However my intrigue of the concept of someone searching for something like “watercolor art of dessert cake” (which, by the way, needs to be the title of my next piece) pushes me closer to the hippo camp than the the best solo performer ever camp.  After all, if I wanted this to be a post about marketing my show or other projects, I could just direct you over here.  This, however, is merely a post about delightful combinations of words.

Therefore, dear reader, I offer you this poem.





lower case preference math

19 09 2011

trains > buses

carrot juice > apple juice

books > wireless reading devices

jars > cans

bridges > tunnels

4 > 5

hardwood > carpet

fresh > smoked

lighthouse > yurt

seeing > looking

scrabble > words with friends

malachite > diamonds

acrylic > watercolor

comfy pants > pantyhose

cornell’s boxes > boxy architecture

any other dessert > cheesecake

english dramas > reality shows

roller coasters > spinny rides

now > earlier/later

tiger lilies > carnations

this > something else





Vacation Day

13 09 2011

wind chimes,  morning times

and

just enough sun, gentle almost-fall sun        

so

I did and didn’t do things.   I did some things I shoulda and somethings I shouldn’t uh

but

the only thing worth mentioning… ah…

is

over the sand, past the green, on the stones, near the waves, under the sky

ah

or, actually:

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh (not the screaming aaaahhhh but the post-massage aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh)

sublime





not a poem

7 07 2011

This is not a poem.

But it has words.

The kind that are efficient in their sitting, pencil shading on the side in the 75% post-consumer recycled content sketchbook.  Graphite words that I smudged with my hands–the smudges of honor still visible when I ordered tea at that place down the street with the quiet, lonely strangers plugged into the walls.  I didn’t wash my hands ’cause I was hoping someone would notice that I am an artist.  I’m not an artist.  I am.  But not that-kind-of-artist.  They noticed (that I am messy).

I am not a poet.

but I love words.

The kind of words that can cascade out of your mouth like that waterfall in the mountain stream where I went hiking all alone because I am so independent and love nature and needed to think (or to not think) and oh yeah, also I’m not really seeing anyone (but wouldn’t that be a great place to take him once I am?).  Refreshingly satisfying words–saying ‘em is like takin’ that last bite of chocolate cake.  It takes up every part of your mouth and each syllable has a different taste.

So this may not be what it’s called.

But it is what it is.

Which is possibly your projection of what you’ve always wanted it to be–that singular moment when you read a phrase and everything lines up for you.  All the answers are there like in an old classroom when you’re young and writing the answers on your paper (properly spaced) with the smell of chalk and pencil erasers and that sawdust they use to cover up the throw-up from that one kid who you don’t know very well ’cause you don’t understand him (but you don’t understand yourself either and first things first, right?).  You look down at your paper and are nervous that you don’t know the answer, but then you look up and realize that the teacher has posted it on the bulletin board opposite the windows–it was there all along.  It’s always been there–all you had to do was look around.

 








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