Be sure to not misspell your username when you are creating it.

Don’t make your password so difficult that you can’t remember it.

And most importantly, if you do not have an actual pet, do not choose the “What is the name of your pet?” security question.  Because you will most likely not remember which stuffed animal or action figure or other beloved non-pet’s name you used as your answer.  This is especially important for those of us who have the inclination to give our stuffed animals middle and surnames as well.  Because which combination did you use?

I’ve been locked out of multiple accounts today because I am way too sneaky and clever.  Damn you, passwords and security questions.  Damn you.

I am assured, however, that no one will be able to take on my online identity.  Even myself.