Judgement in Every Drop

27 01 2012

So, anyone who’s been reading my recent posts on this site knows that I’ve been sick this week.  Really sick.  I thought that I’ve had a really bad cold, but now that I’m starting to finally feel better, I’m ready to admit that I most likely had the flu.  Ugh.  It knocked me out.  I’ve been the kind of sick that when I stand up, I realize that was maybe a mistake and I should just go lay back down.  I’m way better now, of course…but still feelin’ it.

I’m a huge fan of Ricola lozenges.  They are awesome.  But because of my congestion, I also got some Halls.  Halls are like my old standby.  They are comforting.  That’s what my parents used when I was growing up.  Ricola was something I found later–my coming of age cough drop.

Halls has done something new with their packaging.  Have any of you seen it?  On the outside of every drop’s wrapper, they have little sayings–“A Pep Talk In Every Drop!” they’re calling it.  Here are some of the phrases I’ve seen:

Go get it!

Dust off and get up.   

Get back in there.

Flex your “can do” muscle.

Impress yourself today.

Buckle down and push forth!

Now, I don’t know about you, dear reader.  But when I am the kind of sick where I can’t breathe through my nose, I’m headachey, and it’s exhausting just to make myself a bowl of oatmeal, I don’t want some pushy cough drop wrapper telling me to “push forth!’  Screw you, cough drop wrapper!  How can you come off all high and mighty?!  You don’t know how I feel!  Stop tellin’ me that all I need to do is just “get back in there!’  Geez.  The nerve.  Maybe my “can do” muscle needs a rest.  Did you ever stop to think about that?!  No?  I didn’t think so.

Maybe you should reconsider your campaign, Halls.  And I’ll help you.  (Contact me via the email address on this website to find out where you can send my check.)  Here are the types of things that should be written on cough drop packages:

Be easy on yourself.

Don’t feel well?  Stay home and watch a movie!

Take a break.

You look really cute under that blanket.

Close your eyes and relax.

Embrace your bed!

See, Halls?  It’s not that difficult.  Less judgement, more validation.  That’s what we all want–especially when we’re not feeling well.


26 01 2012


It happened!  I’m feeling better!  Wooty-woot-woot!  It’s funny, how when you’re feeling better, you just KNOW it.  But when you’re not feeling better, you don’t even remember what feeling-better feels like.



Me:  Am I feeling better today?

Me Again:  Maybe.  I think so.

Me:  Yeah, me too.  I mean, it feels like when I’m walking around, I don’t want to go right back to sleep.

Me Again:  Yeah.  Well, like maybe we can go back to sleep in a little bit, but we don’t have to right now.

Me:  Exactly.

Me Again:  But we will go back to sleep?

Me:  Yeah….I think I might be getting better today……

Me Again:  I’m tired.



Me Again:  Oh my god!  I feel better!

Me:  You’re right!

All of Me:  WOOOOT!

open letter to the drugs I just took

25 01 2012

Dear Sleepy-Type Cold Medicine,

I just took you, so you’ll pardon the formality of this letter, since we’re already more intimate than I make us out to be.  But I wanted to ask you a favor.  The begging of favors requires politeness and politeness requires a nice letter.  You know how it is.

I’m not much of a drug person.  (Sorry.  No offense.  But I should be honest.  I almost didn’t take you home with me today.  Goodness, this is no way to get on your good side, is it?  Well, please bear with me a moment more…)  You see, a little goes a long way (with drug-type things, that is), so I don’t often need much.

However, this awful cold I have has been torturing me for the last few days.  Last night, I tossed and turned and got barely enough sleep to get me through the day.  So, of course, I turned to you.

Your generic label, your “mixed berry” flavoring, your anti-histamine prowess, your promises of sound sleeps and cough respites……  Well, what girl couldn’t resist!  You had me at “marked drowsiness may occur.”  Ah, the sweet song of the siren!  When I got you home and ripped off your protective seal, I noticed a little something on your back that I hadn’t seen at the drugstore.  There it was, in black and white:

May cause excitability–especially in children.

Oh, no!  Dreadful warning!  I’ve been down that road before, handsome stranger.  And it wasn’t pretty.  So this brings us to that favor I was mentioning earlier on.  Oh, sweet prince, please be gracious and merciful and grant me drowsiness with absolutely no excitability whatsoever!  I beseech thee!

It is getting late, so I shall spare you any more of my verbosity.  Besides, it’s been an hour since I had you and frankly, this laptop is starting to behave like heavy machinery.

I’d like to thank you in advance for being kind.



PS:  Don’t take this the wrong way, but you didn’t taste anything like mixed berries.  I hope this was your one and only deception.

Five Really Great Things About Being Sick

23 01 2012

Whew, that sick-haze around my noggin’ is startin’ to finally dissipate.  Hence, my optimism is thankfully returning.  But I digress.  I promised a list, and here ’tis:

1)  breakfast in bed (and lunch…….and dinner)

2)  the welcome realization that you cannot smell when you haven’t taken the garbage out in days

3)  unabashed usage of comfy pants

4)  sleeping between naps

5)  watching old James Stewart movies (old movies, young James Stewart….swoon…)

I guess the irony here is that now that I’m starting to feel better, I can really appreciate being sick.  But nothing beats feeling well.  ‘Cause let’s face it.  I’m an unabashed comfy pants wearer on my healthiest of days.  And that’s a big ol’ scoop of truth right there.

This post is gonna sound whiney, even if I try not to sound whiney….

23 01 2012

Ugh.  Being sick sucks.  I am typically an optimist.  But when I get sick, that half-full crap goes right out the window.  It’s like I feel like I’ll feel this way forever.  I’m hopeless.  It’s awfully sad.  It’s also short-sighted, stupid, ignorant, and (not to mention) shamelessly selfish. 

I’d like to think that maybe the reason I lose sight of the fact that I’ll be healthy again when I’m sick is because I’m so good at living in the moment.  Ah, that’s not it, though.  If I was truly living in the moment, I’d be simply thinking, “I’m sick.”  Instead, I’m thinking, “Oh, god!  What if I feel this way forever?!”  Haha….it’s pretty ridiculous, really.  But there you have it.  I am (although I hate to admit it) an absolute drama queen, when I am sick.  Fortunately for the rest of the world, I live alone and am usually so exhausted when I’m sick, that I don’t feel like talking to anyone.  So (excepting this post of course), everyone is saved from my drama.

But not me.  I’m not saved by it.  I’m tortured by it.  I get helplessly wrapped up in it.  Blah.  Also, two other unpleasant things happen.

1)  If I’m sick for more than a couple of days, I usually have to cancel, postpone, or find subs for any classes, rehearsals, and shows I have scheduled.  If I had a “day-job” there might be a tiny part of me that thought, “Woo-hoo!  At least I get a day off, I guess!”  But I love what I do.  And I hate when I miss out.  It’s important to note that since this isn’t a “day-job” we’re talking about here, I don’t have paid sick days.  So, in addition to staying home and feeling sorry for myself, I’m out the money I was planning on making.  (Oh, man.  This sounds super whiney)!

2)  I’m a single gal who lives alone.  Now, there are lots of reasons to be in a loving, healthy relationship.  And I’ve got a list if ya ever wanna see it.  But let’s face it, one of those reasons is that you get to take care of someone when they need it and you’ve got someone who will take care of you when you need it.  There are, I suppose, some very good reasons to enjoy being single as well.  But when I’m sick, there’s an awfully big part of me that would love for someone to make me some soup, do my dishes, and cover me up with a blanket.

So, here I sit, in bed, posting a woe-is-me piece for all three of my subscribers to read (Don’t worry, Mom!  I’m sure I’ll be good and healthy in no time)!  I just have a cold/sore-throat/typical winter-y thing.  I mean, it’s not like I went to war and had my legs shot off.  I’m so insensitive and selfish.

But, I have a comfy bed and a cozy home, food to eat and vitamins to take.  And I even had a friend who checked in with me to see if I needed anything.  So, I’m sick for a few days.  Yeah, it sucks.  But, if this is what I have to complain about right now, then life is still pretty damn good.