art it out

2 07 2015

The only way to get something out of your head is to

art it out

draw out the image

paint out the dream

write out the story

poem out the feelings

then you can go on about your day

when a creative force strikes, it’s not always something pretty and fun

sometimes it is the tiny little demon which needs to escape

so that our protagonist

can go on about the business

of living life





Earrings

2 07 2015

Then, there are those dreams

when you see your sister

and she’s still alive

and you sit across the table from her

and you want to explain to her

that the reason you’re wearing her earrings

is because it was a way to have her with you.

But here she is—

she’s across the table from you

she isn’t gone

so you sort of feel bad for having her earrings while she’s still here

but there was a reason you had the earrings

a bothersome, sad feeling

which becomes a slow washing over

a tiny river of realization

this odd knowing

this knowing

that she is both here and not here.

She is both dead yet alive.

Gone from this world, but very much present in your heart and mind.

These dream moments are too quick

too fleeting

and you don’t realize how precious they are

until you have left them

until you are awake

and alone

in your room

thinking of her

and her earrings

your sister

the love





Living in the South

27 01 2015

Best things about living in the south:

fried okra

the weather

the wonderful people I’ve met

(they don’t necessarily come after okra and weather, but I just had more okra today, and it’s really on my mind)

fried lots of things, actually

sweet tea

the weather: it’s worth mentioning again, as it is the middle of January and I am only wearing one pair of pants

ubiquitous bicsuits

ubiscuitous

mountain hikes

and seriously, y’all:  the weather





the losing of someone

30 09 2014

in the losing of someone, you gain so many things

things you didn’t want

you just want to trade all of those things back for your loved one

but you can’t

your loved one is gone and you are stuck with a crappy grab bag

filled with

sadness, anger, fear, loneliness,

and a hollow, emptied out part of your heart

“I’m sorry to hear about your loss,” they will say, kindly, not knowing what else to give you, your hands already full with the contents of your unwanted bag.

“I know it happened a while ago. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

but anyone who has lost a loved one knows that there is no such thing as

belated condolences

you will never stop missing your loved one

never

and life continues and you do all sorts of things

you thought you’d do with them nearby

wishing you

good luck

and

congratulations

and

I love you

It’s so different without them there. Different than it always had been. One less.

one less at dinner

one less at the celebration

one less at all the gatherings

and there are positive thoughts and comforting quotes

but sometimes

you don’t want any of those

you just want to cry

and there is a gentle beauty in that

crying

for the knowing

that even if your loved one was here for only a brief time

how lucky you are to have had even that





The Ones to Watch

29 01 2014

I don’t care to hear about the people who want to escape this world

the ones who follow their fear

living in their imagined future dystopia

I want to hear about the people who are willing to work for a better world

who haven’t given up on this one

Those are the people to watch

and to help

Those are the people doing amazing things.

I don’t want to hear about how you are preparing and stockpiling and organizing

for the big catastrophe

I want to hear about how you are going to help

your friend

a stranger

someone like you

someone unlike you

with the small

or the big

catastrophe in their life

Because right now, in this present moment, helping someone is all that matters.

I don’t want to hear about your fear of

you/yourself

not surviving

I want to hear about your inspiration

to act

to help

them/others





Living in Chicago

7 08 2013

Sometimes means that you will occasionally attend a street festival by accident in the summer

Sometimes means you’ll find yourself squished into the corner of the train car between an oblivious guy with a backpack and a chuckling gentleman who rolls his eyes

Sometimes means you can fall asleep to the sound of the waves hitting the beach

Sometimes means that you’re waiting in line at the grocery store behind an old couple quietly speaking in Polish

Sometimes means you smell chocolate when you’re walking to work

Sometimes means that on any given week, you receive forty-nine event invitations on facebook and forty-eight of them are for sketch or improv shows

Sometimes means you will hear “Go Bears” as a salutation between strangers during football season

Sometimes means that by walking down one street, you can travel through several countries

Always means you’ll have no shortage of something fun or interesting to do

Always means you’re going to continue meeting some pretty amazing people

Here’s to you, Chicago!  I can’t believe it’s already been six years.

Chicago

Chicago





Burma in the Fall

10 05 2013

I dreamt of Burma in the fall

It sounds like a poem

But it’s not

not yet

It was beautiful though….sort of like

Tennessee or Wisconsin in the Fall

but way more exotic.

Upon waking, I was glad that my subconscious did not call it Myanmar

but wondered

Can sleeping thoughts help the progress of human rights?

Let’s hope.

Because what have I really done in my waking life?

I was with my LoverHealer and he thought it would be good for me to go to

Burma in the Fall

and who am I to disagree

It worked.  I felt LovedHealed

It was beautiful,

dreaming of Burma in the Fall

It sounds like a poem

and it is

Autumn-Wallpaper-1