There HAS to be a fantastic guy out there for me, right?

Sometimes, I wonder…..

Lord help me.  I’m ’bout to blog about online dating.  I am officially livin’ in the future.  Where is my flying car?

So, the online dating site that I’m on has this handy little system wherein one can answer questions.  On a question by question basis, I am given the option to allow my answers to be “public,” which means that if someone else did the same, we can see each others answers.  You can sort the questions by “ethics” or “sex” or “religion”…  You can even sort them by answers that you and the other person disagree on.  And herein lies my problem.

I have discovered that this is the quickest way to find out that the guy I’m reading about is a loser.  Maybe I sound harsh.  But please, hear me out.  Look at some of the questions (and the answers that guys have put down) below:

Would you rather that, when you meet your partner, he/she is complete and happy without you so you can be complete together, or would you rather they were incomplete so that you can come along and complete them? When a guy responds with “I want to complete them.” I don’t need to know anything else about him.  This might be a goal for an insecure school-boy, but a man in his thirties, looking for half of a person, really?

Do you litter? When a guy responds with “Yes” or “Sometimes” I cry with my tribal friend by the roadside.

Could you marry someone for a reason other than love (e.g. money, citizenship, sex, fame)? Okay, I know.  I’m a romantic.  But is that weird?  Am I the odd duck out?  Did I just use the phrase, “odd duck out?”  When a guy answers this with a “yes” or a “maybe I’m not sure” forget about it!  Actually, I think the “I’m not sure” answer is worse.  I mean, if you’re gonna be shallow, at least own it.

Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in public schools? A surprisingly large number of guys actually put down, “Yes, students should hear both sides.”  To which I reply (and by “reply” I mean that I speak aloud to the computer–I do not send them a message), “Oh, really?  You think there’s only one creation myth?  Back up the truck, boys.  Dump everything in there–the cow who came forth from Ginnungagap, the water monster, beaver flesh, and so on…  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!”

Do you ever want to punch people you don’t know, right in the face, for superficial reasons (the way they grin, their clothes, their voice,etc)? When a guy responds with anything except “Never” I’ve lost all interest.  One guy even put down “Everyday.”  Wow.  Am I being unreasonable?  Are there women out there who lower their standards to the guy who fantasizes about punching the sales clerk, the waitress, the street musician, et al.?

“The best days of my life” are: To complete this sentence, the multiple choice answer that fits best for yours truly is, “right now.”  But when a guy chooses “in the past” or “in the future,” it’s just depressing.  I can’t be the only one who sees both of those answers as incredibly tragic.  Can I?


If all this means I have high standards, then so be it.  I cringe to think of what would become of me if I didn’t.  (Of course, I know of at least one thing that’s not happening because I do).