One of the most entertaining places on my website (for me anyway) is the little area where only I can go.  It’s a whole page that lists how many “hits” my site has had, what pages folks were looking at, and notably, what search words they used to find it.  Typically, it’s stuff like my name or my show’s name, “chicago improv workshops,” or other fairly unsurprising searches.  But because of the following facts, I sometimes get some pretty entertaining searches:

I have a show with sock monkeys

I advertise that my monkeys perform naked (which they do).

I often use the analogy of “abusive relationships” to describe Chicago’s weather.

I have an increasing amount of poetry posts that have all kinds of random words in ’em.

So, taking into account the above, I suppose I shouldn’t be at all surprised that I get hits to my website because folks were searching for things like:

bad naked monkey

good and bad effects of cold medicine

cow abusing monkey

watercolor art of dessert cake

crazy train people

good sock monkey art

pie abuse

naked teachers

good and bad monkey in hindi

naked girls with monkeys

This brings me to the following conclusion.  It seems fairly easy to get “hits” on one’s site by merely composing a post that contains popular search words.  For example, in this very post, I could type “women who keep hippo-centric scrapbooks and the men who love them” and the possibilities of my site getting visited by a man who searches online secretly about his unique fetish just increased.  But, I suppose I could also take advantage of this power too, by typing things like, “best one-woman show in Chicago” or “must see solo performance of 2011” and the like.

However my intrigue of the concept of someone searching for something like “watercolor art of dessert cake” (which, by the way, needs to be the title of my next piece) pushes me closer to the hippo camp than the the best solo performer ever camp.  After all, if I wanted this to be a post about marketing my show or other projects, I could just direct you over here.  This, however, is merely a post about delightful combinations of words.

Therefore, dear reader, I offer you this poem.

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