Just had a guy I’ve never met before send me a LONG email because I mention in my profile that I’m not particularly interested in having kids (as there are a lot of people already in the world). He tells me he must correct my misunderstanding. He says there are actually NOT that many people in the world. And that if you give everyone 4 square feet, then all 7 billion people could fit in the greater Chicago area.
He can try to “correct” whatever he wants to. But do you know what he can’t correct? The fact that I really don’t wanna be birthin’ any babies. Also, I don’t know why he thinks 4 square feet is enough room for anyone. That’s smaller than my bed. I’d hate to come off as high-maintenance here, but if I’m gonna spend more than an hour hanging out somewhere where I can’t walk around, I’d like to at least sprawl out on the floor. Four square feet, Unknown Stranger? Really? His mathematical calculations haven’t left any room for things like kitchens or schools or gardens or hospitals or ping-pong tables or any of the other grand amenities we humans enjoy.
This guy has CLEARLY solved ALL of the population-related issues in the world. Apparently, all we have to do is put everyone in a four by four foot cage with no food or water. His ancestors must have invented factory farms. You know, what Weird Dude? If we stack people in those cages, we’ll conserve even more space!
Will someone PLEASE go ahead and set me up with that funny, smart, attractive guy friend they know? He doesn’t have to be Italian. But he should have his own place. And it should be bigger than four square feet.